There is nothing more depressing than seeing news reports about nations failing to agree on something or other. Whether it’s something trivial like the price of a commodity or a major issue such as a land dispute or a human rights violation, isn’t it about time we all started to get along instead?
Having watched the situation for some years, I am sad to admit that the answer is no – we really can’t get along any more. Despite the best efforts of the United Nations, the New World Order and the Superhero Alliance, there are still plenty of problems around the globe, but I am now prepared to offer a workable solution that will bring peace to the whole planet.
Hit the road, David
I propose that a responsible citizen, let’s say me, is given a hire car for a year and travels around the world visiting the politicians who refuse to pursue a peaceful path. Those that refuse to do so are forced to live on a remote island to fend for themselves for a few months, or until they agree to sign a few peace treaties here and there.
From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe, leaders will be given a stark choice: call off the armies or it’s time for ‘I’m a Politician, Get Me Out of Here!’. If they’re not keen on eating withcetty grubs and drinking kangaroo-testicle milkshakes, they’d better agree to join my new political party the Association of Sovereign States with International Peaceful Expectations (ASSWIPE).
Islands in the stream, that is what we are
There are several islands which have been set aside for the purpose. Most of them are in the more tropical regions because the local wildlife isn’t always overly friendly. With a varied selection of poisonous spiders and snakes waiting to welcome the more stubborn Presidents and Prime Ministers, it could be an interesting year ahead.
Within a few months, I feel all politicians will be happy to sign up to peace. And once that is achieved, we are left with the thorny issue of hundreds of thousands of soldiers sitting around twiddling their thumbs because they have no wars to fight. However, we at ASSWIPE have already thought of that.
Building for the future
They could then be assigned to various tasks in the world’s poorer areas, such as building roads, warehouses and transport infrastructures to ensure starvation and famine will become things of the past. With such a huge source of man and woman power, we can eradicate hunger, silence Bob Geldof and make politicians eat a little humble pie at last.
There you have it. World peace and all for the cost of one hire car for a year. There’s no need to thank me for this wisdom. Peace is its own reward, of course… mind you, a Nobel Prize will be most welcome.